Ima Off the Grid

I had a brief conversation with a friend inworld last night that turned out to be the text based equivalent to an elbow to the ribs and at least one black eye ;P Just kidding.

I think most every human feels a compulsion to defend themselves against repeated accusations of stalking, trolling, harassing, someone who mocks cancer, mental illness, a rape apologist, being bat shit crazy, pathological, the list goes on…and on…and on. These things are not true and while it seems legitimate in my mind to vigorously fight against these accusations, a self-defense is not what it appears as online. What seems obvious and logical as you sit behind your keyboard, does not translate in a crowd of strangers who have not spent the last 4.5 trying to undo the constant assertions of a very motivated manipulator. What ultimately happens is that you just do yourself in until you become a persona for which people do not hesitate to call cunt, irrelevant, bitch, bat shit crazy, so on and so forth. My compulsion to defend myself is a waste of time and energy, and realistically, I don’t require a defense.

For that reason, I am taking Ima off the grid. I cleared Ima’s friends list last night without explanation to those who were removed, but hopefully this post will shed light on the “why” of the action.

I enjoy SL photography, art, making poses, animations, building, learning Blender, etc. SL has been a part of me for nearly 7 years now and I have made some dear friends, and valued acquaintances. I will not leave SL, but I will start over with a new avatar that is unknown to everyone except those for which I care to be known by. It is not my goal to deceive others, but I, like most, would prefer to enjoy my SL in peace, and in a manner more consistent with who I really am instead who I have become known as. I take responsibility for the reputation, but it has become such a contrast to RL me that it is no longer comfortable.

I hope those that I removed so unceremoniously will accept a friend request from my new avatar, once she is established and understand, at least in part, my motivation for starting over.

Bonus: Clean Inventory

Happy SL’ing!

Advertisements

15 responses to “Ima Off the Grid

  1. Can I haz your stuff? “FIRST!”

    On a less serious note, I think you shouldn’t be so hasty and rather reflect for a week at least, preferably over a nice cocktail (lots of them maybe) and if you’re still determined do it then when you’ll be sure of less regrets at least. 😦

    • I have been reflecting since the 9 headed hydra resurfaced a month or so ago. It is painful to part with the massive inventory, but being free of the stigma will be a welcome change. I will not kill Ima, she has all the money ;P Feel free to email me suggestions for a new name 🙂

  2. Oh….and….uhm. Well, at least you are not killing Ima but store her somewhere, because indeed you never know.
    I am sorry you feel the need to be so drastic, but on the other hand I, for one, know what you mean and why you need to do it.
    You know..in some weeks, you will notice it can be very relaxing to live a (more) sheltered Second Life, trust me, I know 🙂
    All the best with your new 2nd life (or third!) and if you are ready for it, feel free to look me up somewhere, sometime – you know how to find me 🙂

    • Thanks, Cait. I hope my new avatar and I get along…lol. It feels a bit drastic, and I’m sure the separation anxiety will be a bit unnerving, but it will be as you say, relaxing to not be known.

      I will be looking you up soon!

  3. Here is the thing… I don’t know you, so I can give no opinion on what led you to the decision you are making. I am just sorry that people was able to make you consider the need to start fresh.

    Enjoy your SL, a reset is a way to look at things in a new light.

    • Thank you, Don.
      I put myself in the situation by not being more congnizant of my reactions and the consequences of those reactions. While it will be a relief to be completely unassociated with one avatar in particular, it is not really her fault that my compulsion to defend myself overwhelmed my ability to walk away and disengage. That is on me.

      Enjoy your SL too!

  4. I believe that you have thought this through to your (own) satisfaction and that’s all that matters. It can be fun kitting out a new avatar! Remember your contest? 🙂

  5. Look at it this way, too. She will be left without attention from you (which she craves because that is all Sybil does). Heaven knows I am not spending my time acknowledging her existence because she means nothing to me. Nothing. Kudos to you.

  6. I hope this decision isn’t solely based on one conversation with a drunken fool. Otherwise, that not-so-drunken-anymore-but-no-less-a fool might in some way hold themselves responsible for the loss of what they consider to be a good friend and end up feeling like complete shit because of it.

    That being said, there’s someone very dear to me who was not only successful in starting anew in SL, but who now considers it to be the very best decision which they could have ever made for themselves. I can attest to the fact that they are indeed much more happy with their SL existence now, than they were before. My hope is that this will be the case for you.

    Your friend, always …Dres

  7. Well, it was not just the conversation, but the conversation mixed with what had been a particularly shitty day.

    Fear ye not, you have not lost a friend. I appreciate honesty no matter what. I realize it is not always pretty!

    I love you always 🙂

  8. Well… I finally have the phone line back… And I’m back to this. I’m not afraid of publicly say, I’ll keep my fingers crossed to be one of the people you decide to be in touch with. I’ll help you with anything you need and I can do, if you let me 🙂 (And I’ll say everything else in IM when I have the chance.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s